Are we believers because we go to Mass every Sunday? Or, we are not as we do not attend masses? Are we believers if we pray daily? Or is it enough just to believe in God? Thousands of questions and no answers? There is an answer.
God is here. Around us. With us.
Three years of hell, sadness, tears, rage…
One day sister called me for a coffee. Together having coffee and cake, she asked me an inevitable question: “How are you?” Bad, I answer. My ex-husband is coming back home for three years and didn’t come home yet, I have to move out from his house, I have nowhere to go, I don’t know where to go or who to turn to. No satisfaction at dully work, I continue to spin in circles and cannot get out.
She asked me, “Do you believe in God?” I believe, I answered. She told me to relax and let her pray for me.
She laid her hands on me and began to pray in tongues. I didn’t resist, although it sounded weird to me, I relaxed. As she prayed, tears began to flow down my face. Not by sadness. Not by grief. At first, I felt inexplicable restlessness inside of me, as if there was a real battle between good and evil in my womb. I had the feeling that someone was breaking my guts. Terrible restlessness, rapid pulse, almost fainting, crying and sobbing. Later, I calmed down.
After that day I decided to be baptized, but this time by water and the Spirit. In his home.
I asked myself, should each person independently and freely decide to be baptized? Or is it “normal” and ” necessary” to do it? How does a child of a few months can decide? Actually, it doesn’t. The child does it as someone else decides for him.
What happened after the baptism? A change in my mind. Liberation. Relaxation. Letting go. Peace.
Indescribable joy when I have the opportunity to help someone. An older woman, a diabetic, who didn’t eat that day … I took out my wallet and gave her what I had. She held my hand and said, God will bless you. Walking towards the car, I felt like I was floating in happiness and the grace of God, because I helped someone in need.
About a month ago I didn’t know where I was going to live … and all out of a sudden, I solved that problem in just a few hours. I knew it was God. Everything was so simple, I saw an ad on the internet, went to look at the apartment and it was it. I knew it was an apartment for us, for me and my child …
Rough times have come. Corona virus stopped us all. Even banks are closed …. and credit approvals. Nothing is solid, cannot be predicted, still, I’m not afraid. I know He is here with me. And that He is always showing us which path to take, when we choose the wrong one. These are just challenges to deal with to realize how little we need for happiness and that material things cannot make us happy, but family, health and His love.
Until next time, R.
Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits,
Psalm 68: 19
even the God of our salvation. Selah.